Recently, I had a friend over, and we started chatting about the millennial mid-life crisis. The big question was, what do we think the millennial mid-life crisis will look like?

Millennials, the group of people born between 1981 and 1996, are currently between the ages of 30 and 45 years old. As a fellow millennial myself, I can speak from experience that we’ve really been through it. We are old enough to remember 9/11, went through the major recession in 2008, a global pandemic, the current housing market… the list goes on with the amount of instability and uncertainty we’ve already had. 

And with all of that, we’ve navigated a LOT of societal change that hasn’t been the norm. Things like two working parents in a system that is set up for 1 working parent (hello 2:30pm pick-ups), choosing not to have children, having children later in life, adapting to new technology, and overall existing and living in a world without a playbook. 

Taking all this into account, what will the actual mid-life crisis look like? Personally, I don’t think the mid-life crisis for millennials looks anything like what has come before us. The stereotypical midlife crisis used to be having a MAJOR freak out at 40ish, buying a sports car, or blowing up your whole life. Here’s why I think millennials are different. Millennials have been really mindful around what they want out of life. We are the generation that took “pursue your passions” seriously. We’ve been thoughtful about when we want to have kids, where we want to live, and what we want out of life. So, to totally blow up our lives just doesn’t make sense in a lot of ways. Nor does buying the sports car actually fulfill a millennial (and who can actually afford that in today’s economy?). 

It’s not necessarily that we’re unhappy with our lives. It’s that we might feel a little stuck in them. We’ve spent so much time working toward the next thing that we haven’t necessarily figured out what happens when we get there.

So, here’s what I think the millennial mid-life crisis might actually look like.

1. The realization that doing everything right doesn’t necessarily make you happy

I think a lot of millennials will get to a point where they look around and think, I’ve done everything I was supposed to do. Why don’t I feel better?

We grew up believing that if we worked hard, got an education, built a career, made good decisions, and generally tried to do the right things, we’d end up with a life we loved.

And for a lot of us, we’ve done exactly that. We’ve built careers, relationships, families, and homes. We’ve been intentional about our choices.

But there’s a difference between building a life that works and building a life that actually feels good to live in.

I think the crisis comes when you realize that you’ve gotten really good at managing your life, but you’re not necessarily enjoying it as much as you thought you would.

2. Figuring out who you are when you don’t have to keep proving yourself

Millennials have spent a lot of time achieving things. We’ve been encouraged to pursue careers we love, find our purpose, keep growing, and become the best versions of ourselves.

And while there’s nothing wrong with any of that, I think it can become a little exhausting when you’re always working toward something.

But what happens when you reach a point where you don’t necessarily have anything left to prove? Or you’ve really achieved everything you wanted and feel good about that?

I think midlife might be when we start asking ourselves who we are outside of our achievements. What do we actually enjoy? What matters to us now? And what if we don’t want to keep hustling at the same pace?

That’s a pretty big shift when you’ve spent most of your adult life trying to build something.

3. The realization that the life you chose comes with trade-offs

We’ve been encouraged to be intentional in all areas of our lives, to be emotionally available, to prioritize our kids’ development, and to create meaningful lives. At the same time, many of us are trying to maintain careers, relationships, friendships, and some semblance of an identity outside of parenting.

And it’s a LOT.

Life can start to feel like one big to-do list.

Even when you love the life you’ve built, you can still miss having more freedom. You can love your career and still feel tired of working. You can love your partner and still feel like most of your conversations revolve around who’s picking up the kids.

I think part of the mid-life crisis will be coming to terms with the fact that the life we chose can be both wonderful and hard.

And that wanting something different doesn’t necessarily mean we made the wrong choice.

Maybe the question isn’t whether we chose the right life, but how we make the life we have feel more sustainable and enjoyable.

4. Wondering what life would look like if we’d made different choices

I think millennials are particularly susceptible to wondering about the paths not taken.

Social media has made it really easy to see all the different ways people live their lives. There’s the friend who didn’t have kids, the person who moved abroad, the former colleague who started a business, or the person who seems to have figured out how to live a slower, less complicated life.

And even if we’re happy with our own choices, it’s hard not to wonder sometimes.

I don’t think these questions necessarily mean we’re unhappy. I think they’re a pretty normal part of getting older and realizing that we only get one version of our lives.

But when we’re constantly exposed to other people’s choices, it’s easy to start comparing our actual lives to the lives we imagine we could have had.

And those imagined lives tend to come without the day-to-day responsibilities, hard decisions, and trade-offs that come with them.

Just remember, if you’re envious of another person’s life, remind yourself that you would need to trade EVERY part of their life. Not just the parts you envy.  

5. What happens when there’s nothing left to achieve?

Millennials can struggle with boredom. We didn’t necessarily grow up with social media, but we’ve spent a significant portion of our adult lives immersed in it. We’re used to having something to look at, something to work toward, or something new to aspire to.

And when you combine that with the achievement culture we grew up in, it can be hard to just be.

But what happens when things are relatively good? When there’s no major problem to solve, no big milestone on the horizon, and no obvious next step?

I think some of us might find that surprisingly uncomfortable.

We’re so used to working toward the next thing that we don’t always know what to do when we’re not working toward anything in particular.

And I think that can bring up some uncomfortable questions. Is this what the rest of my life is going to look like? Am I supposed to just keep doing this? Is there something else I’m missing?

Maybe the challenge is learning how to find pleasure in our lives without constantly needing to change, improve, or achieve something.

So, what do I think the millennial mid-life crisis will actually mean?

I think it will be less about blowing up our lives and more about figuring out how to actually enjoy them.

It’s about identifying what brings us joy and happiness while also accepting that we have responsibilities. It’s about figuring out how to make room for ourselves without feeling like we’re neglecting everything else.

It’s learning how to find pleasure outside of the “work hard, play hard” culture we’ve become so accustomed to. It’s getting comfortable with the idea that we don’t always need to be working toward something. And it’s making sense of some of the bigger feelings that come with midlife: Is the other shoe going to drop? Is this really my life? What if things are good, but I still want something more?

I don’t think any of these questions are inherently bad. In fact, I think they can be really useful.

They can help us figure out what matters to us now, rather than continuing to chase the things we thought would matter when we were younger.

And maybe that’s the real work of midlife. Not necessarily changing everything about our lives, but learning how to live in them differently.

Because if there’s anything I know about millennials, it’s that we’re good at figuring things out. We’ve spent a lot of time reflecting, learning, and trying to do things differently than the generations before us.

Now, maybe it’s time to figure out how to enjoy what we’ve built.

And honestly, I think that’s a pretty good place to start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grand Rapids has so many great places to eat, but if you’re in your 20s, you also probably want good vibes and ambiance. Whether you’re sticking to downtown or heading into the neighborhoods, here are my top 10 picks that are sure to be worth the 

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Downtown Favorites

1. HopCat

You can’t talk about Grand Rapids food without HopCat. The vibe is casual, and the beer list is unmatched. A true GR staple. 

2. San Chez Bistro

Tapas are basically made for group dinners, and San Chez nails it. The plates are fun to share, and the space is colorful and lively. A great way to feel like you’re in Spain without needing to travel by plane. 

3. Max’s South Seas Hideaway

Tiki bars make everything more fun. Come for the fun theme and feel like you’re light-years away from Grand Rapids.  It’s an experience as much as it is dinner.

4. Social Misfits

The quirky, waffle-focused menu makes this spot stand out. It’s playful, modern, and hits the spot. 

5. Scholar

For when you want something a little more elevated or want to celebrate a special occasion, Scholar is the place to go.  It’s cozy and great for a fun night out. 

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 Neighborhood Gems (Eastown, East Hills, Heritage Hill)

6. Butcher’s Union (Bridge Street)

Known for its killer burger, this cozy and sophisticated dinner spot is unmatched. This is one of those restaurants locals always recommend for a reason. Be sure to make reservations beforehand, as they are always busy!

7. Donkey Taqueria (East Hills)

A go-to for tacos and a lively patio scene. A laid-back restaurant that is perfect for nights when you want to chat and hang out with friends without any pressure. 

8. The Commons (Heritage Hill)

A retro-themed spot tucked into a historic neighborhood, The Commons is so cozy in the winter with a fireplace to boot. It has that neighborhood vibe that makes you pop in on a random weekend night and stay. 

9. Electric Cheetah (Eastown)

Comfort food, but make it creative. Their mac & cheese is simply the best, and they’ve got one of the best root beer collections you’ll ever see. It’s quirky and oh so fun. 

10. Cherie Inn (East Hills)

One of the oldest breakfast spots in the city — and still one of the best. It’s the perfect spot after a night out or early morning breakfast fuel. If you love local gems with character, this one’s a must.

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Downtown has the iconic spots everyone knows,  but don’t miss the neighborhoods — Eastown, East Hills, Heritage Hill, which are filled with charm.  Whether it’s tacos at Donkey, brunch at Cherie Inn, or retro vibes at The Commons, these places give you that authentic Grand Rapids feel.

The best part? Every single one of these spots is fun, approachable, and perfect for a night out in your 20s.